There’s Still Life After Goodbye

Penulis: Fariza Nur Shabrina – 1306414103

11

Your days seem brighter,

You’re smiling ear-to-ear,

You feel happier than ever;

You fall in love.

 

Rain falls inside your head,

You have no energy left,

The only songs you listen are Adele’s;

You fall out of love.

 

Love is the biggest emotion celebrated by people all around the world since the creation of The World. Love is a universal thing and it is expressed in many forms of art. People love talking about love; just like people love falling in love.

But, what about those who happened to be unlucky and fall out of love?

When it comes to love, it involves two or more people (no, I’m not talking about a third-wheel here); sometimes even the whole family are involved. And when many people are presence, conflicts are bound to happen. Sometimes the conflicts are resolved and the couples grow closer, but, other times, fights tear people apart. Then, it comes the separation part.

Break-up is a normal thing and it can happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime. In fact, heartbreak has as much expression as love do (Adele, Taylor Swift, Sam Smith, you name it). Though it’s normal, no one can deny the pain and rejection being felt following the break-up. Even researcher had admitted that break-up elicits the same pain as physical one! Rest easy, your feelings are validated.

What can you do, then, when your heart is broken?

Take a step back and let all your feelings sink in. It’s okay to wallow in your sadness at the beginning of your break-up. Don’t try to hold your emotion. First rule: Denying your feeling is a big no! Avoid staying too long on this stage, though, since it may hinder you from moving on. You can only think about your lost relationship when you want to reflect on it, not to reliving it. Calmly reflecting on your past love can help you pointing out what went wrong so you can learn from it.

Lastly and most importantly… Start loving yourself again. Often in relationship, people basing their self-identity (the understanding that one has about who he/she is as a person) from their partner’s. Being in a relationship makes two people intertwined into one, and now’s the time to stand up and being one with yourself again. After a break-up, you may find yourself confused of what your real worth is. You see only the bad sides of you, your weaknesses; things that may become the reason your love went away. It keeps you feeling lonely and rejected, and that needs to change.

People come and go. Just like that old saying, not every encounter in life is meant to stay. One may intersect your life briefly; the other may stay for longer. But at the end of the day, your love for yourself can stay with you longer than those other people.

So now, ditch those mountain of works and give yourself a treat! Do your hobbies, eat your favorite meals, and go out. Find out what life has in store for you after your break-up (and it’s usually better!)!

 

 

Reference

Kross, E., Berman, M. G., Mischel, W., Smith, E. E., & Wager, T. D. (2011). Social rejection shares somatosensory representations with physical pain. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 108(15), 6270-6275.

Larson, G. M., & Sbarra, D. A. (2015). Participating in research on romantic breakups promotes emotional recovery via changes in self-concept clarity. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 6(4), 399-406.